A battle between the clown prince of crime and a man who fought off more Nazi's and tribal people then he could ever count.
It is a battle of:
The joker versus Indiana Jones
The Joker
The person:
Batman has some dangerous opponents; Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, Two-face and the Riddler to name a few. But none is as dangerous as the Archenemie of Batman himself, the Joker.
The real name of the Joker is unknown and a lot of evidence suggest that he himself does not remember his own past. In a lot of stories, the Joker tells different tales regarding his history and he once said that if he has to have a past, he prefers it to be multiple choise.
Even though his history is unclear, the first meeting with the Bat is somewhat constistent. Under the identity of the Red Hood, the clown comitted a robbery near or in the Ace Chemical procession plant. Things went awry when the caped crusader showed up and somehow this red hood ended up into a vat of chemicals.
These chemicals bleached his skin, made his hair green and gave him a permanent red grin. The Joker blames Batman because he thinks that the Bat pushed him in.
It was also after the incident that the Joker went insane. It is not shure how the Joker got his insanity, it may be due to the chemicals, or the braindamage done due to oxygen deprivation. There are even hints that the insanity comes because of his growing hatred of Batman as the Joker once in a lucid state said"Here's the cold, hard truth Bats...I don't hate you 'cause I'm crazy...I'm crazy 'cause I hate you.''
Whatever happened, we may never know. What happened with the Joker afterwards is more important. The thin white duke of death rose to become one of the most deadly opponents of Batman, his insanity showing in his work.
The Joker is a special criminal, some days he does no harm and other days he commits criminal acts that hints to the inhuman. His plans also makes sense to him only, half of the time he does not even have a plan but just feels like killing or just want to cause someone physical pain because of a big joke. This is also partly the reason why few henchman want to work for him and a lot of other DC villians have a hard time working with him.
Even though the Joker is unpredictable, he does have the highest personal kills of all DC villains. (not counting blowing up whole planets) and he is the single most dangerous bad guy in said Universe.
The Joker does get locked into Arkham asylum a lot but the Harlequen of hate treads this insane asylum as a hotel to rest between schemes. He can enter and leave at will without the staff being able to do anything about it.
The relationship between the Joker and Batman is odd. Even though they are enemies, the two know that they need each other to make life entertaining. Bats has had enough reasons and oppertunities to break his own oath and to kill the Joker but he never did it. On the other hand, the Joker has had on multiple occasions a chance to unmask or even kill Batman but he also never acted.
For the Joker, his relationship with Batman went as far as when he heard that someone else had killed Batman, The joker killed that person and started leading a normal life. He got operations done to give him a normal face and he got a job. That all changed when Batman was back. The joker mulitated himself and started his life in crime again.
The Joker seems like a loner but he did have a henchwoman who never left him, even though he insulted and abused her a lot. This woman is Harlequen. She started out as a doctor on Arkham but she fell in love with the Joker and when the other staff found out she helped him escape, she ended in the asylum herself.
After this, she started helping her boss with a lot of schemes and became his personal assistent.
I told a lot about the Joker, but nothing about his killings yet.
Like i said earlier, it almost looks like the Joker kills on random, which might be the case half the time.
I will now name some of his more infamous killings.
The Joker broke into the house of commissioner Gordon and shot the niece of Gordon in the spine, paralyzing her from the waist down. The joker then took pictures of the naked and blooding body to show Gordon. (This to prove that one very very very bad day can make anyone insane)
The joker also took a hospital with newborn babies hostage. When the wife of Gorden showed up, the Joker told her not to move and then threw a baby towards her. She catched the baby and the the clown shot her in the head.
The Joker actually killed the second Robin named Jason Todd. He smashed his head in with a crowbar several times and before Batman could save his sidekick. Joker blew the two of them up. As a last note, i would like to say that altough the Joker does have no superpowers, his blood his toxic due to all the Jokergas in his body.
The Weapons:
Since his appearence in the Batman comics, The Joker has used a lot of odd and dangerous weapons. In a lot of incarnations, he also used different weapons. I am sorry for the Heath Ledger fans, I wont be using any weapons that this Joker used because they miss the Jokerflair and were only used in that movie.
But now, to the weapons that did make the cut.
As for short range, the Joker uses a toy turned lethal. The joy buzzer. Normally, the joy buzzer is a small device that you can hide in your handpalm and give a light electrical shock to anyone who shakes your hand. The Joker has one of these toys, but with only a small difference. His joybuzzer has enough electricity to kill. This small little weapon may be one of the most famous and most used weapons of this evil clown and was used in two ways. The first way was the most easy. The Joker shook the hand of his victim and watched as the poor man got electrocuted. The second way was in combat. The Joker would fight his opponent in hand to hand combat and push this nasty little device on the skin of the opponent to kill.
The midrange weapon of the Joker looks innocent but is not. I am talking about the razor sharp throwing cards. The Joker always carry these cards with him to identify himself and to thow them at his opponents if he feels like it. Having used them on multiple occasions, they even formed a fatality in a videogame. The cards are not as flimsy as normal playing cards but are better suited for throwing at an opponent and delivering a lot of damage. The cards should be thrown via an overhand throw and for the damage or in a gliding kind of way, just look at this:
The long range weapon of the Joker is once again something you do not expect in the hands of a killer. This time, its the harpoon gun. This harpoon gun looks like a toy pistol but as soon as the Joker fires it, a stick with a flag comes out of the barrel. Usually, the word bang is written on it. After this, the Joker pulls the trigger again and fires the flag into the suprised opponent, killing him. If we can believe Batman Beyond, This was the weapon that killed of the Joker when it was used by Tim Drake. The opponents usually do not suspect this toy to be an actual lethal weapon and many enemies died with a suprise on their faces.
The last and special weapon for the Joker is his most famous/signature weapon, the Joker venom. The Joker venom can be a gas or a liquid, it can also be deployed from darts, as poison and sometimes even from the flower on his jacket, but could also be used in a lot more ways. Also, the gas state could be absorbed by the pores and does not need to be inhaled to work. There is a lethal and a non lethal version of this venom, I will look at the lethal one for the match. When someone inhales the venom, the victim causes uncontrollable spasms of laughter followed by a painfull death. It is unknown how it works but some speculate that the venom hyperstimulates the laugther functions of the brain and makes the victim unable to breath. Even when the opponent is still laughing, he is out of the fight and will be unable to do anything else. A side effect, the venom tightens the muscles of the victim and discolours the skin.This especially happens in the facial area, giving the corpse a permanent Joker smile. To make things worse, the Joker himself is immune to his own venom because he is an avid consumer of his own product.
X-Factor
The Joker has his very own X-Factor, his insanity. Insanity is a very big concept and the way I see it, it will play out in two major ways during the battle. The Joker has a very high pain resistance due to his exposure to chemicals. This means that the Joker can fight and laugh as hard as ever even when he is beaten down hard. Some also speculate that the Joker is masochistic and loves getting hurt. The second way the insanity comes into play is the fact that the Joker has no fear. The Joker can be shot, thrown of cliffs and even walk into explosions and he will always laugh about it. The fact that he has no fear is especially proven in the comics. In one instance, the Joker and Scarecrow betrayed each other and Scarecrow attacked the Joker with fear inducing toxins. The Joker merely laughed and used his venom on the Scarecrow. The scarecrow started laughing but he could not stop.
Links Ofcourse there is more to the Joker then I can ever write about. That is why I have selected two links with info on the Joker and two videos.
How can I not show the Joker in this masterpiece of a game.....
Finally, Prove that the Joker can sing! A song by the Great Luke Sky.
Indiana Jones
The Person:
When you see his famous fedora, his bullwhip or you see someone running from a huge boulder, you know what is coming your way. When you also hear his famous music, you are watching one of the most famous archaeologists in the fictional world and the reason that youngsers get interested in this ancient subject.
You are watching Indiana Jones.
Henri Walton Jones junior, better known as Indiana/Indy Jones is a archaeologist, spy, soldier, dean and college professor. He also has the titles of doctor and colonel to add on his CV.
Not only does Indy have a great curriculum vitae, he also has an extended history that tells all his adventures from his birth to his elderly days. i will try to give a little insight into this man but forgive me that I will only write a little bit on this man because if I would write his whole backstory, I would fill multiple blogs.
Indy was born on 1 juli 1899 as son of Henri sr. and Anna Jones in Princeton, New Jersey.
When he was 9 Indy followed his parents across the world for a world lecture tour that ended when he was 11 years old. During the travels, the young boy met a lot of influencial people and saw a lot of the world. His mother became ill and died when they got home and father and son moved to Utah where his father withdrew into studies and Indiana once again followed his father all over the world while the latter gave lectures.
The two of them moved back to Prinston in 1916 and during spring break, Indy quitt High school to participate in the Mexican revolution and fought during the last three years of the first world war.
After the war, he rolled into te university of Chicago and later transferred to France. After school, he became a archaeology teacher in Londen for a short period of time.
Shortly before the second world war, the US goverment contracted him to find the Arc of Covenant and he joined the OSS (the forerunner of the CIA) afterwards.
During these travels and after them, Indiana got in all sort of adventures that took him all over the world once again. He met all sorts of different and influencial people for a second time and entered ancient buildings. This treasure hunter collected all different kinds of artifacts and special items. He also met a variety of opponents, ranging from tribal warriors to nazi's and many more.
I talked before about the famous people that Indy has met in his life, whose visions changed the way this man looked into the world. Some of the people he met are: Leo Tolstoy, Pancho Villa, Mata Hari, Ernest Hemingway, Vladimir Lenin, T.E. Lawrence, Pablo Picasso, Winston Churchill, Herman Goring, Sigmund Freud and Theodore Roosevelt. These are just a few, he met many more.
Due to all his adventures and experiences, Indy became hard heartly and cynical but he always kept a sense of honour and compassion.
Indy is fluent in 27 languages due to a tip of a very close friend. That friend named Ned, said that he should learn the language of the country he visited. That Ned should later be known as Lawrence of Arabia.
Despite looking like a superman, Indiana also has some flaws. He has an hatred and fear of snakes, low alcohol tolerance and astigmatism.
Around the 1990's, Jones lived in New York with his daughter and grandchildren, was blind in one eye and walked with a cane. Overall a long and hard life behind him.
Indiana Jones is a famous character who can be recognised with ease and to sum some of the accomplicements this character has made in real life, I will quote wikipedia.
'Indiana Jones remains one of cinema's most revered movie characters. In 2003, he was ranked as the second greatest movie hero of all time by theAmerican Film Institute.[16] He was also named the sixth greatest movie character by Empire magazine.[17]Entertainment Weekly ranked Indy 2nd on their list of The All-Time Coolest Heroes in Pop Culture.[18]Premiere magazine also placed Indy at number 7 on their list of The 100 Greatest Movie Characters of All Time.[19] Since his first appearance in Raiders of the Lost Ark, he has become a worldwide star. On their list of the 100 Greatest Fictional Characters, Fandomania.com ranked Indy at number 10.[20] In 2010, he ranked #2 on Time Magazine's list of the greatest fictional characters of all time, surpassed only by Sherlock Holmes'
Weapons:
Indy has some awesome weapons and altough only two or three are known to the general public, he has used more in his life. He also does not have any armour other then the fedora, which gives protection against sun, rain and sand.
As for short range, Indy uses his machete. He has used this weapon on some of his adventures and it came in handy especially during underwater travels. Indy usually uses it to cut down the bushes he encounters but it is a great weapon.The machete is a cleaver like cutting tool used for agricultural purposes but it can also be used to cut a person down or amputate limps. Its 12.8 to 24 inches long and usually under 0.12 inches thick.The machete Indy uses has a handle of wood and steel and the handle has a rope that fits around the wrist of Indy, so he cannot drop it by accident.
The Aztec sword is his choise for Midrange. This wooden sword with pieces of obsidian embedded in it is better known as a maquihuitl and was used by ancient Aztec warriors.During the 1930's Indy found this weapon because he needed it to battle the ancient Mexican warleader Nacom, who was raised from the death and had enslaved a local tribe. Legend said that the Aztec sword was the only weapon that could destroy it and Indy killed him with it, saving the tribe. This weapon was around 3 to 4 feet long and three inches broad. It could be used in one hand or in both.
Indy's handgun is his pick for long range. Indiana has used a lot of guns during his life but the most famous one is his Smith and Wesson M1917 revolver, the hand ejector second model type. Is is shown in Raiders of the lost Ark where he used this weapon to dispatch an Arab swordman. It shoots .45 caliber bullits and has a magazine that can hold six bullits. It is a double action with swing out cylinder and the muzzle velocity is 760/s The effective range is 32 yards.
It was used as a military weapon during the first and second world war, that is possibly how Jones came to get this weapon. Note that the revolver of Indy had a shorter barrel then usual.
Other guns Indy has carried are: MLe 1892 revolver, Nagant model 1878 revolver, colt new service revolver and the Webley Army model .455 caliber revolver.
As a special weapon, Indy has his bullwhip. The bullwhip is the most trusted weapon Indy has and the first one he aquired, at the age of 13. Indiana used this weapon a lot during his adventures and due to his daily practise, managed to become a master in its use.The bullwhip is a braided leather string that is used to control animals but Indy used it also to pull levers, swing rope across chasms, disarm or trip opponents, cut opponents and many more. The whip is usually around three feet long and exists out of the handle, the thong, the fall and the cracker.
The handle is ofcourse, the piece you hold in your hand and is a braided leather covering.
A fall is a single piece of leather that is made to take the wear and tear of dragging it and therefore replacable.
The thong is the main portion of the bullwhip and made of braided cord. The thong mostly has multi-layered braid.
Lastly is the cracker, that is the flexible piece of leather on the end of the whip. The part that hits the opponent.
X-Factor
The X-factor of Indiana is his survival instinct.
Indy has not only survived an whole arsenal of opponents but also managed to get out of booby traps, locked rooms and crashing buildings. This gave Indy the oppertunity to identify booby traps and other odd things but also makes the warrior more able to escape them when he comes across it. In the battle, this means that Indy has a better chance to spot and deal with the Joker's weapons then any ordinary opponent.
If you want examples, just see the movies, they are full of them. Think giant rolling ball, arrows coming out of the wall and many more.
Links:
Again, i have two links for you. One with the Bio of Indiana Jones and one with his weapons. Both links will come from the Indiana Jones wikipedia.
This one is the bio of Indy and when you click on it, you will see it is huge. I highly recommend you guys read it because it gives an detailed description of the hero from his youth to his elderly years. There are also a few great pictures in there.
This is the link to the weapons that Indy used. There are also weapons on there that have been used against Indy. Again, something i highly recommend.
25 great quotes from the great Indiana Jones.
And ofcours, the Indiana Jones theme...
Edges:
Joy Buzzer Vs. Machete
- If we compare these weapon for weapon, we see a huge difference. The first way the joy buzzer is used is as a suprise weapon. The Joker just shakes the hand of the opponent and he watches as the other get fried. The other way is a tool in combination with the martial arts. He fights his opponent in hand to hand combat and when he can get a opening, he places the buzzer against the skin of his opponent. For both of these uses, the Joker needs to get up close and personal to use the weapon. The plusside is, that the joybuzzer can be hidden very good and the opponent will not see this small device coming. Even if he can see it coming, he might see it only as a toy.
The machete on the other hand will not be a surprise weapon. It can not be hidden very well and nobody will think of it as a toy. It does have a very long reach that surpasses the buzzer and it can cut down anyone who opposes it.
The way i see it weapon for weapon. If Indy does not get shocked by a suprise attack, he can cut the Joker down before the clown can get in close to use the joybuzzer. I also can see how Indiana can spot the trap of the jobuzzer before Joker can use it.
- Weapon against armour is rather simple and short. Indiana will not have any defence against the electricty of the Joker and The Joker does have not any bodyarmour. His clothing also do not give any protection against the machete but the fact that the Joker can take pain very well, might work in his advantage.
- Now for the skill department. Shaking someones hand does not take skill, but using a joy buzzer in combination with martial arts does. The Joker has shown to have great skill in hand to hand combat, being able to fight off Batman. I do not doubt that the Joker can use the buzzer in hand to hand combat effective.
With Indy on the other hand, I am not shure that he had any skill with the machete other then the simple hacking he used it for. I also found no real evidence that Indy had any form of swordtraining and the only time he had a skilled swordfighter as opponent, he shot him.
- In the end, finding an edge is harder then it looks. The joy buzzer can take Indy by suprise and even if that does not work, the Joker has his fighting skills to use the buzzer with to take his opponent down. The machete on the other hand does not have the skill to back it up but it does need it. It is a lethal weapon just by hacking.
Not only is the machete lethal, it also has a far superior range over the joybuzzer.
In the end, My edge goes towards the machete for two reasons. One: it is a actual weapon. Two: I can see how the machete will kill before the joybuzzer could be used at all.
Edge: Indiana Jones
Throwing cards Vs. Aztec sword
- Again, two different weapons in one matchup. The throwing cards are to be used at a longer range then the Aztec sword and there are multiple, ready to hit. What is more, Indy will never guess these playing cards to be weapons. I also am not afraid that the Joker will run out of ammo, he seems to have more then one deck up his sleeve.
The sword on the other hand, needs to be used somewhat closer in and can cut the opponent down with one or two good attacks. The shards of obsidian all over the blade make for more damage per hit and even if the shards break off, there is always the other side to do damage.
The two weapons do have their downsides. The playing cards need to be aimed and by a strong wind, might be blown away or even pushed away by any weapon of Indy. The aztec sword on the other hand, is rather heavy, Indiana needs to get in close to hit and the shards can break off. That last thing is good when the obsidian gets stuck in the body of his opponent but might turn out bad when it breaks off against something else. I would like to add that i cannot see how the instinct of Indy will help because even if he knows the cards are dangerous. They are still dangerous.
- Weapon against armour, will be again a short piece. Indy has no armour and therefore no defence against the throwing cards while the Joker cannot protect himself against the Aztec sword. His x-factor will not help him much either because the sword can tear of limbs with ease. In this case, neither weapon is better.
- For skill, we see the same as the first fight. The Joker has mastered throwing these dangerous sharp cards into the weak points of his opponent and he is as good at it as the dark knight.
Indiana Jones lacks the skill again for this weapon as he found the ancient weapon on his travels and will not have trained with it very well. He can use it in combat as he has proved, though.
- In the end, I have to chose between a ranged weapon or a melee weapon. i am convinced that both weapons can take out the opponent very well and both weapons do have their negative points. I think that the Aztec sword is just a bit too heavy to deal much attack against a nimble opponent who can stay out of reach to deal damage, the lack of much skill on the side of Indiana is one of the reasons for the sword not peforming very well. The Joker can target weak spots on the opponent and throw his cards which may hit the face or throat to kill and hit the hands or arms to force the other weapon out of the hands of the user. This may play an important part and therefore:
Edge: The Joker
Harpoon gun Vs. S&W M1917
- Now we have two guns which makes for a better assesement. Even though those are two guns we are talking about, there are huge differences between these two weapons.
The harpoon gun has only one single shot but a huge suprise factor. When the gun is fired once, the flag will appear and nobody can guess that the flag will be lethal. I am not shure what the effective range for this weapon is but it cannot be very far and i am very positive that the gun of Indy has a better effective range with 32 yards. The S&W also can shoot six bullets before reloading and it has a stronger impact power for actually containing bullets.
The six bullets capacity is far more then the one bullet of the harpoon gun.
- Again, I can talk about how neither warrior has armour. Indy might be suprised when there is a flag coming out of the harpoon gun, but he will never suspect that the flag is the actual danger, so he might be suprised when the flag he was laughing about is heading his way in top speed. When the flag hits, there will be no armour for Indy to protect him.
The Joker has taken bullets before. he does not have any armour but he has proven to be able to keep on laughing even after being shot so it might take a few tries for Indiana to take out his opponent.
- With the skill, both have proven to be skilled in the use of guns. The Joker has fired a variety of guns and the harpoon gun most of all. i have no doubt that he has skill to use this weapon. Indiana has carried guns for a long period of time also and he displayed shooting abilities. The most famous one is ofcourse, when he took out the Arabic swordman with his pistol.
- In the end, I can chat as much as i want but one gun is just the superior weapon. The S&W has a superior accurate range, It can shoot six bullets instead of one and a bullet does more damage then a flag, even if neither kills.
Another very important point is that when two people stand with their guns ready opposite each other, I would prefer a gun where I have to pull once for the bullet to fire and not twice.
Edge: Indiana Jones
Joker Venom Vs. Bullwhip
- This may be the weirdest weapon match of this blog. On one side, we have the joker venom that can be used in two states: liquid and gas. In these states, there are a lot of ways to use them: From a flower, from a gun, poisoning, in a bullet etc. Lets just stay with gas and from the flower for this comparison.
The venom can be absorbed through the mouth and the pores of the opponent. As soon as Indy gets the venom in his body, he will start laughing, will be unable to do anything else and then die soon after. To make things worse, Indy will not have the cure for the venom and he will never expect a flower on the jacket of his opponent to be a weapon. This means a lot of danger.
There are weak points for this weapon however. The venom needs to be used in a close distance and the opponent can escape when he sees it coming. Indy has encountered gasses before and when he encounters it, he might know not to come close to it. The gas also dissapears after a while.
The bullwhip is just what it looks, a whip. However, the bullwhip has several uses in the battle. It can hit the opponent, disarm the opponent, trip him and even choke. With the lenght of three feet, i am pretty shure that it surpasses the venom in reach.
However, the bullwhip has one huge disadvantage. I see only two ways for this weapon to kill. The first one is with a hit on the temple of the opponent and the other way is with strangling. The strangling however will be harder to accomplice and Indy needs to attack the Joker by suprise.
- With armour, it is almost the same old storie. I say almost because altough neither warrior has armour, both have some way that might help him. Indy has the instinct to avoid a gas when he can see it and has his jacked and fedora to aid him into not absorbing the gas.
The Joker can take a lot of hits and one or two hits with the whip will not upset the Joker, he might even like it. It will take a lot of whipping to take the Joker out.
So altough neither warrior has armour, their x-factors may prove vital in this last weapon match.
- With skill, we have two opposites. The joker venom does not need any skill to use, just spray it when the opponent least suspect it. You really cannot aim this weapon.
Indiana on the other hand has a lot of skill with his whip. This might be the most recognisable of Indy and the weapon he posesses most skill with. Indiana wields this weapon since he was 13 and it is said that he trains with this weapon every single day. He is indeed capable of performing incredible feats with the whip. I can even say that Indiana Jones is a master with the bullwhip.
- In total, I have to choose between a very deadly gas that kill rather easily but cannot be aimed and a whip that has a harder time to kill the opponent but is good for a lot of other uses and will be wielded by a master.
The Joker venom is very deadly indeed and when Indy gets this into his body, it is game over for him. The whip may not have a huge chance to kill but it is usefull for the other purposes i named earlier and I don't push a weapon aside, only for the fact that it does not have a huge kill potential.
But I have to chose between these weapons and therefore i will look at which weapon will be more dangerous in the fight.
And altough the whip has a lot of uses, especially in disarming and tripping, the fact that hitting with the whip may not hurt as much as normally does hurt Indy a lot.
The Joker venom has proven his worth a lot of times and really is the perfect weapon for an insane clown. Indy can escape the deadly gas when he sees it coming, but only if he can see it coming. The suprise factor is very important and Indiana has no way of knowing that the innocent flower is a host to a deadly gas.
In my opinion, the joker venom is just the more dangerous weapon in this match and it gets the edge.
Edge: The Joker
The Fight
The desertsun was burning and Ali watched as the last of the crewmembers left. From all the workmen who were excavating the pyramid, only he and three others stayed. They would wait untill the archaeologist would return from the ancient building and the five of them would spend the night in this desert. As head of the workmen, Ali was responsible for getting the pyramid out of the sand. He looked at the big hole that uncovered the enterence to the pyramid and with his experience, the Egyptian guessed that it would take untill the end of the week to finish this project. Mr. Jones could be proud.
The clown smiled as he stopped his car near some tents. He had seen other vehicles leave earlier and was ready for action. When he stepped out of the car, a stranger walked up to the man. The stranger started talking in some strange language and the Joker guesses that it was about a pink flying unicorn. The Joker offered his hand for a handshake and as soon as the man took it, he got electrocuted before falling on the ground. The Joker laughed hard at this sight and walked on.
As he kept on walking, the criminal clown saw another Egyptian man sitting down. The Joker pulled out two of his playing cards and threw them in rapid succession. The first card hit the man in the throat and the second one landed in the face of this stranger, killing him.
The prince of crime walked towards the digsite and saw another man standing there, in front of the big hole. The man stepped towards the clown and started talking in broken English. 'Hello. Who is you. This private, you not allowed.'
The Joker started laughing hard at this and as a response, some gas came out of the flower on his jacket. The gas hit the suprised man in the face, who stepped backwards a few times.
Suddenly Ali started to laugh. He could not help himself and he was unshure how or why he laughed so hard. Unable to stop, Ali felt his longs burning and when he took another step, he rolled down the sand and into the hole. When the man stopped laughing, the Joker knew that the man was dead and he could not help himself but to laugh.
Indy walked trough a doorway. He was not shure how long he had been inside this pyramid but he thought that it could have been several hours. Before heading towards the site, the archaeologist had spent a few days in the library of Cairo to research the pyramid and there he found reasons to believe that this pyramid might be supernatural. In fact, Alien skulls might be hidden in the sarcophagus.
Knowing that strange creatures might be found there, Indy had taken a weapon with him he usually left home. The Aztec sword. This Aztec sword had helped Indy fight supernatural beings before and it might help him today.
When Indiana had entered the pyramid, a light had appeared inside the building. Other then the light, no other weird things had happened yet.
Indiana walked into another hallway and after finding nothing, he decided to head outside and call it a day. He would try to find the grave chamber tomorrow.
Suddenly, a sound was heard from behind a wall and when Indiana walked towards it, he was eye in eye with with a monster.
The creature was as long as a grown man, had the head of a jackal and black fur. Instead of arms, the beast had two scythes and it was walking towards Jones. Before it could attack, Indy jumped away from the monster and grabbed his whip. He swung his whip against the opponent to keep it at distance and slowly walked off towards another hall. As the Jackal-man followed, Indy used his whip to trip the creature and when it was down, he grabbed his aztec sword and hit the jackal-man in the head.
After making shure the creature was dead, Indy started looking for the door again, leaving the Aztec sword behind so he would know where to start the other day.
Finally, Indy thought as he opened the door that that would lead to the outside world. He stepped trough it and the fresh air reached his nostrils. To his suprise, nobody was there to meet him and after Indy yelled, he got no reaction.
Suddenly, he saw the back of a man in the sand next to him. Indy turned the body around and noticed it was Ali. To his suprise, Ali had white skin around his face and his lips were in the form of a smile, as like he had been smiling when he died.
Indiana made it up as soon as possible and when he was out of the hole, he looked in the eyes of a strange smiling man. This man had white skin, green hair and a purple suit with a flower on the left chest. 'Who are you?' Indy asked. Where are my men?' came his follow up question.
The Joker laughed at all the questions and moved to give the man a hand. 'Shake it' he said.
Indiana wanted to give this strange clown a hand, when he saw a device in the handpalm of the stranger. Indy pulled out his revolver and pointed it at his opponent.
'Remove the thing' he said and after the clown had done it, Indy asked again who the man was.
The Joker kept on smiling, even though someone was pointing a gun at him. 'let me take out my card.' he spoke. The clown prince of crime took two playing cards from his jack, showed that these were cards of the joker in the cardgame and stepped back two times. He then threw the two cards.
Instead of shooting, Indiana moved away to avoid the cards and suddenly fell back into the hole, releasing his weapon.
The Joker laughed as he stood at the egde of the hole. 'Let me tell you a joke.' The joker spoke and while Indy was looking for his weapon in the sand, the clown started. 'Two loony's escaped from a crazyhouse and ran up to the roof. Up on the roof, the two jumped towards another roof and when they wanted to do it again, they noticed that the next roof was too far to jump.' Before the Joker could continue his joke, Indiana gave up on looking for his revolver and headed into the pyramid. The Joker equiped his joy buzzer again and followed.
The harlequin of hate continued his joke as he walked through the maze of the pyramid, looking for his opponent. 'Well, the two crazy ones were on the roof and they knew that the guards would have catched up with them quickly. One of the nutters suddenly came with a idea. I have a flashlight with me and I will turn it on so you can walk over the light to the other side' The Joker found Indiana and drew his harpoon gun. 'BOO!' he yelled as he aimed the toy gun at his opponent.
Indy, who did not see that the gun was fake took his bullwhip out and moved to strike. The Joker fired his gun and to the amazement of Indiana, a flag popped out of the barrel. Taking no chance, Indy moved his whip to hit the hand of his opponent while the Joker fired off the flag. The bullwhip hit the hand while the flag rammed itself into the side of the adventurer.
Indy cried in pain and moved away while the Joker was just laughing.
The ace of knaves followed the trail of blood untill he was suddenly attacked by his opponent. Indiana Jones had found his aztec sword that he had left behind and now used it to attack his opponent. The weapon hit the right shoulder of the clown, tearing into the flesh.
The Joker moved aside and with unusually strong power for such a skinny man, he pushed Indy against a wall. While his shoulder was bleeding, the Joker smiled and suddenly, his venom came out of the flower. Indy did not know what gas suddenly appeared, but his instinct told him to run and he did not object.
The clown criminal smiled as he touched the blood on his shoulder and kept on looking for his opponent. He followed the bloody trail to a special room. In the middle of the room, there was a sarcophagus and the rest of the room was filled with gold, weapons and books. The walls were also full of drawings. Spotting his opponent behind the sarcophagus, the Joker decided to finish his joke first. 'So those two nutcrackers on the roof. The first one had suggested for the second one to walk on the light, to which the second nutcracker replied. Are you nuts? As soon as I am halfway, you will turn of the flashlight.' After the Joke was done, the Joker started to laugh hard and grabbed two throwing cards. He then threw them at the ancient casket, forcing Indiana to duck away.
Indiana Jones drew his last weapon as the Joker came near in a fighting stance.
The clown pushed his hand with the buzzer forwards using open palm, trying to hit Indy in the face. As a response, Indy moved his machete and succeeded in hacking of the hand of the maniac clown. 'Why so serieus?' The joker asked. Having enough of this madman, Indy attacked again and slashed his opponent two times in the chest, ruining the flower. 'Auch, that hurt' the clown said while still smiling. Indy then moved to slash his opponent across the chest again and finished it off with cutting the throat of the clown. The Joker fell on the ground and and kept on laughing, untill he died.
Indiana dropped his sword and watched the beatiful room which was now covered with blood. He was not shure why but Indy suddenly started to grin and after a minute, laugh.
Winner: Indiana Jones
In my opinion, Indiana Jones would win. This would be mostly because of the killing potential of his machete and revolver. Altough the bullwhip was not very deadly on itself, Indiana was a master using it and could use it in all other ways to defend himself and to disrupt the gameplan of his opponent. The last reason why Indiana would win is his X-factor. He survived the most weird things and altough he was unknown with the weapons of his opponent, he would know how to survive once again.
Altough the Joker lost, he would be a good opponent for Indiana Jones. I would also like to add that the Joker would win against a lot of other opponents due to his weird weapons. In this fight however, the two most dangerous weapons of the Joker were his throwing cards and Joker venom. These two stay lethal, even though the opponent knows what to expect. His X-factor would play in also but even though you might not feel much pain, you can still die.
If i would had to guess how much kills each other had with a 1000 kills, I would say 600 to Indy, with his S&W M1917 giving most of his kills.
The Joker would score around 400 kills with the Joker venom as most deadly weapon.
I hope you guys liked this fantasy match and here is what you can expect for the next fight:
I hoped you guys enjoyed my monster match and liked the way the story went. I am sorry if i offended any historical warrior in the proces but i tried to imagine how each warrior would act and what that person would say/do. I will also want to say that i respect every single warrior that i have shown in this story and that i would prefere never to face any of them in combat.
And now for something completely different.
I have posted a list with new matchups earlier but during the writing of the monster match, I decided to veto my own idea.
Instead, I will write seven fantasy matches. 14 warriors from different universes will go face to face in duels to find out who is the deadliest fantasy warrior!
And now for the warriors:
-The Joker versus Indiana Jones
What happens when the clown prince of crime fights the adventurer that has survived some of the most dangerous traps and the weirdest enemies.
- Ryu Hayabusa versus Yoda
What if the most lethal monster slaying ninja faces a powerfull jedi master?
- Reaver versus Landon Ricketts
A duel between the hero of skill and a master of dead eye.
- Jack of Blades versus Mewtwo
Two powerfull monsters will do battle. One with the will, the other with psychic powers.
-Jason Fly versus Niko Bellic
When a special goverment agent fights a famous criminal in the streets of a big city, there will be trouble.
- Thor versus Raiden
Two thundergods will fight and only one will live.
-Eric Cartman versus Stan Smith
A battle of two famous cartoon warriors.
- Azula versus Storm
A battle between two female warriors
1. I will look into all forms of media of the warriors and use information from all for the warriors and their weapons.
2. I will not always use standard categories but will tweak the ranges or the amount of weapons if i feel the need too.
3. Some of these warriors have a lot of weapons. I will chose the weapons according to; the way i want to represent the warrior, the most likely weapons this warrior has used and personal preference.
4. Some warriors only have one or two known weapons and I will include weapons that this warrior could and would have used. With good arguments ofcourse.
I am looking forward to writing the matches and I hope you will enjoy reading them. The matches will be written in the same style as i have done the last ancients matches.
If you have questions or suggestions for one last match, post it.
Also you can always post your ideas on who will win in these matches.
'Everybody ready?' Ramses asked. As a result, he saw the other four people nodding. The werewolf that they had killed lay under the tree where it had died. After killing it, the warriors had spend a day to create a plan of attack. The plan was ready now and the warriors, ready for action.
The small group moved towards the castle with Joan and Cochise in front, Ramses and Sun Tsu in the middle and Aves closing the line.
Joan opened the big doors and peaked through but saw only a deserted hallway. The warriors made it in and then walked past some big white stairs into a long and dark hallway.
Joan suddenly stopped and pointed towards a door. 'I believe this must be a servantexit.' She spoke. She had explained to the others already that the vampire lord might be hiding in the big room and the others could figur out that this was the best way to enter that room.
Ramses nodded and the only female in the group kicked the door open. The warriors stormed in, their weapons drawn. As they entered, the fighters saw a vampire and a large group of zombies standing in the middle of the room. 'Welcome' A voice came out of the dark.' It was a dark voice that gave each warriors shiffers in their spine. The ancients looked suprised and tried to find the place where the voice came from when it was sounded again. 'You thought your attack would suprise me? The howl gave you away' The voice spoke. 'Severus attack!' came the command suddenly.
The vampire that had been standing in the middle of the room, suddenly acted and walked towards the group with ancients, followed by the zombies. 'Aves and Joan, take care of the zombies. Sun Tsu and Cochise, fight with me' The pharaoh commanded. The others reacted on the command and two seperate fights started out.
Ramses, Cochise and Sun tsu surrounded the vampire and the Egyptian swung his kopesh sword.
The vampire named Severus blocked the attack and stepped aside to avoid the polearm of Sun Tsu. He then grabbed Ramses and threw the warrior into the Apache.
Before the monster could grab either of the warriors, Sun tsu unleashed a crossbow bolt that hit the vampire in the stumach. The monster cried in pain and kicked the crossbow out of the hands of the user, breaking it. The chinese warrior bowed down and grabbed his Ji but he got kicked in the side before he could stand up again. The powerfull kicked send the warrior rolling over the flour and the smiling vampire walked after him when something hit the back of the vampire. Severus turned around and saw the Egyptian holding a piercing axe.
The Spartan and knight were fighting the zombies on the other end of the room. Altough their weapons and armour were perfect for these things, the zombies kept attacking. Aves had found out that hitting their heads with his shield worked perfect while he tried to stab them in the head. Joan had another approach and kept on beheading the zombies. The two of them fought hard but could not see an end on this zombie horde when a japanese looking zombie appeared, holding two swords.
Sun Tsu blocked an clawed attack with his jian sword while Ramses tried to attack using his kopesh. The vampire stepped away from both of the warriors, only for the Apache to suddenly attack the vampire with his tomahawk. Cochise managed to hit monster in the neck but Severus grabbed his wrist.
Before Severus could attack, Sun Tsu slashed the vampire across the chest. The angry Severus dropped the native and grabbed Sun Tsu. 'You are going to pay' the vampire hissed as he threw the Chinese warrior away with all of his strenght.
Sun Tsu hit a wall and got unconscious. two zombies noticed the warrior and walked towards him.
Joan was fighting two zombies. One was bald while the other had a small beard and glasses. She allowed her armour to absorb the attacks of the zombie while she swing her sword and managed to behead the bald one. As the head fell on the ground, the woman turned her attention to the other one. She moved away from an attack and thrusted her sword in the face of the body.
The spartan warrior was busy fighting a zombie version of Miyamoto Musashi and blocked the simple hacking attacks with ease. 'I never thought our duel would be so dull.' Aves commented as he pushed the zombie away with his shield. The zombie Musashi tried to attack again but the Spartan stepped aside and used his xiphos to stab the samurai from under the chin in the head.
The vampire was fighting Ramses again and got an upperhand when Cochise used his tomahawk to smash the knee of the monster. Severus kneeled down and yelled in pain as Ramses acted. The Egyptian pushed his opponent down again and used all of his strenght to behead the vampire with his kopesh. The head fell on the ground and seconds later, the body fell also.
'NOOO!' Nostro yelled as he saw the body of his last general on the ground. He stood up from his seat and walked towards the Egyptian.
Cochise tried to attack the master vampire but he got grabbed and thrown across the room. The pharaoh walked towards the final boss, ready to settle things. He moved to attack but Nostro grabbed the arm of the warrior, twisted it and finally broke it. Ramses yelled in pain and was forced on his knees seconds later. Without saying a word, the vampire twisted the neck of the Egyptian, killing Ramses.
Joan, who saw the vampire killing the warrior, got angry and ran from the zombies and attacked the vampire. Her blade ended in the side of Nostro, who made a fist and rammed her in the face. Joan fell down with a cry as the monster stepped towards her.
Aves was still fighting the zombies but when a zombie version of Sun Tsu suddenly appeared, the spartan got taken by suprise and four zombies managed to grab both of his arms as the Sun Tsu zombie walked towards him.
Out of nothing, an explosion was heard in the hall and seconds later, a man with black hair and a black beard appeared. 'Sorry that i left you guys' Pete spoke as he aimed his pischal and fired it at the zombie Sun Tsu. He then used the back end of the gun to push the zombies away. The pirate dropped the gun and took his blunderbuss. He aimed it at the master vampire and fired. Nothing happened and Pete knew that his weapon had misfired. The attack did get the attention from Nostro, who walked up to the pirate.
Pete let go of his weapon and drew his cutlass but got disarmed after a first attack.
While Aves and Cochise were fighting the zombies again, Joan knew she had to react. The female warrior took her dagger and stabbed the vampire. Nostro turned his head, grabbed the woman and slammed the dagger out of her hand. He then took a hold of her throat and started choking her. Now it was time for Pete to act. He took his final flintlock from his belt, jumped on the back of the vampire, aimed it at the temple of the monster and fired. The explosion threw Pete on the ground Nostro himself fell seconds later.
As Pete tried to stand up and Joan was gasping for air, the other two warriors were still fighting the final zombies.
After Cochise and Aves succeeded in killing the last of the zombie swarm, both fell tired on the ground.
It was sometime after the battle that the old man came walking into the room. 'Hello' the man spoke in a happy tone. His happyness was not returned as four warriors looked at him angry. 'You whoring sun of a bitch' Pete spoke as he aimed his empty pistol at the old man. 'You have something to explain' Cochise said with a sturdy voice. The man kept on smiling and finally said, 'Very well' 'Then tell us who you are first' came the voice of Aves. The old man nodded, sat down on the ground and started. 'I have a lot of names, most of which i have not used in ages. But you can call me Kyle if you need a name, I would like that.' After introducing himself, Kyle started to speak about Nostro. He told the warriors how Nostro fought and dissapeared, only to show up and attack the world again. 'That is very well and all but what do we have to do with it?' Joan asked. 'As an old god, i could not fight anyhting in the mortal realm and I needed the heroes of old to do the fighting for me. Not being able to summon them, I collected special crystals and send them into history to summon the decendents of the old heroes. You guys'
After hours of talking, Kyle stood up. 'Now that the lord vampire is defeated, you can go back home, but I ask you, consider something else. Even though Nostro has been defeated, there are still vampires, zombies and werewolfs on this world that need to be taken care off. I ask you, stay here and destroy every single monster so that the threat will never rise again.' Kyle knew that the warriors would complain but to his suprise, this did not happen. Joan raised up to speak first, the inprints of the fingers still visible on her throat. 'I know that god send me here and when an angel of god asks me to stay, i can only obey.' 'I will stay also' Cochise suddenly spoke. 'During our last fight... I have been bitten by a zombie. Would i return to the plains, i would pose a danger. Besides, I will enjoy killing every last one of those monsters that took my three new friends.' Even though Kyle was concerned by the news that the Apache would become a zombie when he died, the old god did not show it. 'I guess i can stay also.' Pete spoke. 'My crew will have chosen a new captain by now and you need my gunpowder to stay alive.' The pirate spoke, not mentioning the real reasons he stayed; regret for leaving earlier and Joan.
Aves spoke as last. 'I would prefer to go home.' The other warriors looked suprise. 'Why?' Joan asked. 'My heart belongs to Sparta and when I get the opportunity to go back, I cannot reject that.'
Joan, Cochise and Pete left the castle moments later. When they were gone, Kyle took a crystal and gave it to the Spartan. 'Aves, this crystal will bring you home as promised. Keep it with you and you may return if you ever get tired of Greece.' ' Thank you' The warrior spoke. Not bothering to ask who Greece was. A sudden light appeared and the warrior was gone.
Aves opened his eyes. He saw the forest, he had been in before falling into the adventure and heard the birds he grew up with. When he heard the voice of his good friend Chilon, the Spartan knew that he was finally home.
